​Why do people have a hard time changing?

Many people have a hard time changing because we feel comfortable and safe with the feeling of familiarity.  Humans have a tendency to do more to avoid pain than to seek pleasure. In this sense, it feels dangerous to change our environment which includes the people who surround us, the thoughts we tell ourselves, and the goals we seek.  Humans are creatures of habit.  Things that are new and different can breed fear, anxiety, and general discomfort, even if our current reality is unhealthy. It is easy to get lost in life, especially if it is all you know. Examples of conditions that people regularly subject themself to are isolation, loneliness, abusive relationships, chemical dependency, being a die-hard sports fan, politics, religion, etc. Other people have overcome these circumstances and you can too. However, without others giving us hope and perspective, it can seem impossible because we do not know where to start. This is why learning from others is so critical.

Formulating a vision for the future is difficult when you don’t have mentors teaching and modeling behavior to help you change your reality. Without outside information, perspectives, or experiences, we are prone to tunnel vision and can get stuck in a rut. Without an abrupt or extreme circumstance forcing change, seeing that one needs to change can be very difficult.